“Rope of Suicidal Thought”
-Reuben
Wriarts
There are lots of reasons why
some people commit suicide. The person
could be psychotic, impulsive, did a terrible mistake, or has a family history
of suicide cases. Those are some of the reasons but one of the common reasons
is due to depression. Depression is a real serious thing. I believe that it’s
not just a mental illness but also an emotional disorder. Our emotions affect
all areas of our life if we ’re not able to control it. What is depression? How
does it look like? How does it control the minds of the persons who are
suffering from it? Depression is a major disorder and a serious medical illness
that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think, and how you act.
Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or loss of interests in life. It is
more than just feeling sad. Everyone feels upset or unmotivated from time to
time, but depression is more serious. I want to bring awareness about this
matter through the way I can as an artist because some of us don’t really
understand about this case.
The reason why I’m raising
awareness about this matter is that I once had this kind of mental illness. It’s so hard, and it’s really difficult to
face it. I even forget myself and I’m always out of my mind. It’s like I’m in a
dark room, inside a big cage of a bird, alone, hopeless, and no one is even
around to help me out. I felt like the world was so small for me to fit in and
I can’t breathe. I can see my own self making a suicide rope, and hang myself
just to end my burdens. There’s also this times at our office when my feet just
stood and walked out to let my tears flow inside our comfort room. I always
found myself crying at night because I feel alone, worthless and empty. I want
to share it with someone but I don’t even have the ability or the strength to
do it. I feel so weak and all I just need was a hand reaching me out and an
embrace to make me feel better.
I have this personality that
I don’t want to share my problems in life. I always keep it, and always trying
to find ways to deal with it. Perhaps, that’s what most artists do to handle
their depressive thoughts. They don’t speak up, rather they try to find ways,
and expressing it through art is one of the ways they certainly do. It was
difficult but I don’t have any choice, until one time, I found myself creating
a new genre of art, which is new to me, and that’s writing a piece of poetry. I
didn’t even realize I could able to create one. So, I was able to express all
the depressive thoughts that are swallowing me. My piece, “Tired Trying”, came
out through the ink of my pen and my emotions. I realized how writing could
help someone’s untold voice of words. I was able to connect myself in every
single word that I wrote, and it makes me feel better, feel peace and free from
the rope of suicidal thoughts. I posted it on my Facebook account and someone
reached me out without any interrogations. She said, “Life is a circle.
Sometimes up, sometimes down. But keep in mind that you won’t stay in that
position forever”. Those are just simple words but I was dramatically moved. I
feel it moving inside my bones, and it touched my heart. It reminded me about
the importance of life and how beautiful it is. It enlightened me from the
darkness of my negative thoughts.
Here are some quite good
insights from random people I collected, when I posted my previous artwork
about depression, in a discussion group.
Walter White,
“I can
relate to this since I was in a suicidal depression myself for a couple years,
and I did in fact attempt suicide. But I survived thanks to medical help, and
thanks to medication and dedicating myself to changing my thinking about myself
and my emotions, with many months of cognitive psychotherapy. I still recall
the love and support from family and the medical staff which at the time really
surprised me. I had closed myself in to being totally alone and had no hope.
In my case, the weight of
accumulating troubles had built up over years to be impossible problems I could
not solve to please others and keep everyone happy in my life. That was who I
was then, thinking of my own feelings and value were not important as long as I
did whatever it took to solve other people's problems and keep them happy. With
therapy, I finally learned the common sense to value myself FIRST to build my
own inner strength, so that I was then better able to be of help to others as
well. Since then I now live my life guided by love, truth, and peace. I am
aware now being truthful with others always and being true to myself is vital
to being a loving productive human being.
So after recovery, I
did, in fact, solve every single one of those impossible problems that filled
me with fear and hopelessness to turn into the disease of the mind called
depression. Yes, it is a disease and not something the person is to blame for,
even though in society people with a mental illness like depression are
sometimes looked down upon like it is entirely their own fault. There are
hundreds of suicides every day on our complicated world since people are sad
and lack inner love for themselves and lack support from family and friends who
may not even know what thoughts are in their minds.
An occasional suicidal
thought is normal in most people's lives. But if it gets to be often and deep
depression sets in, seek professional help and they will have ways to deal with
it to lighten your burden and to enable you to value yourself and deal with
life's problems in better ways. Each case is different and I am not saying each
case can be simply solved. Some people end up having to live with some
depression in their lives their whole lives, but they can cope and deal with it
with the love and support of others.
I hope the moderators
will be tolerant to keep this here because the message is very important even
though this post may not fit the Community rules. This fits the Philosophy of
Life, and religion is one way some people seem to need to cope with Life, to
fall victim to making this mental artificial parent figure in their mind, going
by names like Allah, and Krishna and Jesus, which seem very real in their
minds, much like the troubles of depression are created there by the same
powerful forces of brain chemistry. I do support the right of people to use any
religions they like if that is the way they choose to live their lives.
Wishing you love, truth, and
peace.”
Lewis Yingling,
“You started a very important
thread. I worked in the mental health field for over thirty years but would
never claim to "have the answers." Everyone here has made wonderful
points. I do think the common theme that I see here is that we need to start
with all learning to have compassion for one another. I would agree that that
should be the base starting point. Wouldn't that be wonderful!
I do think it is very important
that people understand that mental illness IS medical illness; no different
than diabetes or hypertension or any other medical illness. It simply has
cognitive, or mental symptoms instead of what we normally think of as medical
symptoms. And that is confusing. If people would start seeing mental illness as
the medical illness it is, we would have a much higher success rate treating it
and far less suicide.
People are bringing up very
good points about how depression should be treated. Should we use medication or
other non-chemical treatments? Again, think of mental illness as the medical
illness it is. If someone exhibits symptoms of diabetes or hypertension
treatment can begin as simply as a lifestyle change if it is caught early enough.
Eating right and exercising may be all that is necessary. If the disease
progresses other forms of treatment may be necessary. Depression is no
different at all. Sometimes therapy and social interaction therapy is enough.
There is no simple answer.
I do think it is so very important
that we do begin to understand depression and all mental illness as the medical
problems that they are. Because of this confusion treatment is affected. When
someone is suffering from diabetes or hypertension we do not guilt them or
shame them and say, just feel better, or buck up, as if it is because they are
weak or they somehow asked for their problem. (I am not going to get into the
debate here where some people do believe that diabetes and hypertension are
brought on by their lifestyle. The fact is that we humans are complex and
complicated creatures affected by nature and nurture. Some people can eat and
drink all they want and never go to a gym and never get diabetes or
hypertension or depression, so that is a separate discussion. The point is, we
do tend to think depression is different than other medical problems and blame
them. That is a problem.) One of the worst things you can say to someone who is
depressed is "just try to feel better, try to be happy.." Anyone who
has been depressed will tell you, they are trying, they want to and can't. That
IS the problem. People who are depressed or mentally ill in any way did not do
anything or ask for their condition any more than someone with heart disease or
cancer did. I believe that is so very important to understand.
I do like your artwork and
think it is wonderful that you are bringing attention to the seriousness of
depression and suicide. There are those that see mental illness as demonic
possession or evil of some sort and that is terrible. There are also those that
believe that religion could somehow cure illness and that is also bad if it
keeps people from getting the help they actually need. And, of course, if
someone is not religious or not a "believer" it can be an additional
source of guilt, shame and conflict they certainly do not need. If it is simply
a way of giving people hope or the sense of compassion that is very beneficial
for recovery, it can be positive. It is something that can be utilized on a
case by case basis.
My feeling is that
depression is a very complex illness and can range from temporary sadness and
seasonal mood changes to a very serious, life-threatening chemical imbalance in
the brain. Treatment varies depending on type. All treatment though must begin
with compassion. Just like every other medical problem treatment can range from
talk therapy and lifestyle change to medications that can treat the chemical
imbalance that does occur in the brain.
If left untreated
depression can become as fatal as any other medical illness. Sometimes we do
not see the symptoms just like we do not always see the symptoms of heart
disease or cancer. So, if a loved one does commit suicide, survivors or
caregivers should not feel guilt and shame any more than if their loved one
passes away from any other illness. Compassion is the key for me. If we do
truly care about each other and are not just self-absorbed, we will be more
likely to notice when someone is suffering.
Eugene Schwaier,
“There was a time in my
life when I thought I had hit rock bottom. Lost my job as a management
supervisor trainee because Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait and I was in the
National Guard. Every day I had a 41 magnum pistol sitting on my coffee table.
And witch day would I finally eat a bullet? I soon came to realize that if I
would commit suicide, I would let the BASTARDS win! SUICIDE is not the answer.
Regardless of how much the PAIN hurts or the time, tomorrow is a better day!
Man or woman up and work through it! Had I done myself in, I would have never
met my wife, improved my life and enjoyed 23 years of wedded bliss with one of
the most remarkable women in the universe! So PLEASE, suicide is NOT the
ANSWER! None of us gets out of this world alive, why make your time here any
shorter?
So the question is, is it
my fault? Is it the person’s fault not speaking about it? Will you blame the
person for choosing to end his/her life because of suffering from this serious
mental illness? That’s the hardest part about depression that most people
around the victim can’t see. They are blind about it. Some people even blame
the person, who committed suicide, for not being strong and for not speaking
anything about it. That’s how depression can do. It controls the “mind” and
“emotion” of a person, and that’s what we need to understand and consider. Saying “Be strong!” “Suicide is not a choice!”
“Don’t give up!” “Keep Fighting” “Move on!” etc., are not enough. Those words
are not enough, and it’s not that easy. That’s not the way it is. Sometimes,
those set’s of words are not necessary when all the person need is an embrace,
a shoulder, and ears that are willing to listen. The most important thing is
the presence you are willing to share just to make that person feel good and
better. Compassion is the answer.
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